I'm really stressing out lately. So much damn homework. I'm the only one out of all my friends that has this much homework, all 'cause i had to take a bunch of stupid honors classes. I'm already falling behind to. Big surprise. I just can't focus in school, nothing they teach is remotly interesting to me. I was so stressed the other day during last period that i broke down laughing and couldn't stop no matter what i did. My friend thought i'd completly lost it...maybe i did. Then there's the whole child-services being called on my dad thing. I'm glad it's happening and all, but it isn't helping my stress levels any. Then having to read Shakespear isn't helping either. And having a slave driver for a teacher doesn't help at all. My friend and i are both in honors english classes, she's on her first book after 4 weeks of school, my class on the other hand is on our third. Yeah, she's a slave driver. Every little thing these days seems like it's gonna make me snap. Like today for example my mom and her boyfriend ordered some food and the guy got there before they got home, which he wasn't supposed to do. So i call my mom and ask what i should do because i have no way to pay the guy. So she tells me there's this blank check on the counter and starts telling me what to put on it to pay the guy. Well she starts telling me to put all this shit on it in all these places that there is no place to put them even though she says there is. For some reason this really pissed me off and i started crying like i do when i get really angry. So i slam the door in the guys face without paying him and stalk up to my room. Thankfully though my mom showed up a few minutes later to pay him. Then she comes up to my room to see why i'm flipping out and i tell her to just leave me alone because i don't like to be around people when i'm upset. And what does she do? She stands there and lectures me. Then there's the fact my boyfriend is away on some forin exchange trip and won't be home for four months and i have no way of getting in contact with him which only causes me to stress out more. And another thing is that my friend is also going through some hard times right now, and he gets really suicidal at times when he's stressed so i'm worried about him. Then there's the stress of having everyone look up to me and having no idea why. I mean come on! I'm a gothic freak who can't control her emotions and is constantly running off and doing stupid shit and you all look to ME as a leader? What the hell? Then, the other day i was having luch with a couple friends of mine and this uperclassman comes and sitts with us. I forgot to pick up my candy wrapper when i left so she comes over, unzips my backpack and stuffs it in, causing most of my stuff to fall out in the prosses. I'm just, just so fucking stressed and pissed and and... *sigh* Sorry if none of this made any sense, i just wanted to vent.